The parents held very different views on their son’s future. They were unable to agree on where he should live or on how his custody arrangements should be organised.
Both had their reasons and put forward their arguments during the proceedings. However, whilst the adults explained what they considered to be best, the child’s voice was barely heard. The decision was set to change his daily life, but the court had not yet been able to ascertain how he was experiencing the situation.
We managed to ensure that the child’s voice was heard
When I took on the case and went through all the documentation, I realised that a crucial part of the story was missing.
The proceedings were centred primarily on the conflict between the parents. To understand what was really happening, it was also necessary to understand the child’s circumstances, their needs and how they perceived the changes that were being proposed.
I didn’t want him to have to choose between his father and his mother, nor did I want him to take on a responsibility that wasn’t his to bear. I wanted to ensure that such an important decision wasn’t made without giving him the chance to have his say.
How Ruth got involved
I requested that the child be heard in person before a decision was made. I argued that he was old enough and mature enough to explain how he was experiencing the situation and how the various options might affect him.
I also provided documentation that helped to shed light on his situation beyond the conflicting accounts given by his parents. In this way, the court was able to assess the case with a more complete picture of what was happening outside the proceedings.
The court agreed to hear him
My application was granted and the child was able to express his or her views before a decision was taken regarding his or her residence and family arrangements.
Her words alone did not determine the outcome, but they provided information that had scarcely been taken into account until then. The court was able to gain a first-hand understanding of how she was experiencing the conflict and to assess her needs alongside the rest of the evidence.
Listening does not mean making a child decide
A child should not be made to bear the burden of choosing between their parents. Listening to them means recognising that they are the ones who will have to live with the consequences of that decision every day.
My job was to ensure that his voice was heard as part of the process without placing him at the centre of the conflict. Because protecting a child also means paying attention to what he is going through, what he needs and what he has to say.
